Here it is

March 11: Day 3

Same ol', same ol'. Business as usual and such. Mostly hanging paper and coverings on the walls to prevent the kids from cheating on their assessment tests next week. And I'm sure next week I'll be up and down the step ladder to take it down again. I suppose I should be cynical and complain but when it comes down to it, I'm taking a load of these ladies' minds and helping them breathe a little easier and that's really all that counts.
One little girl finally said I looked like Santa Claus, I was waiting for it. Of course I had to shoot back a "What makes you think I'm not him?." Messing with kids is a decent time. And this is a great age, at 8 or 9 they're starting to get fairly intelligent, but they're still innocent and sweet. They still skip everywhere. They also sit in the tiny chairs that I'm sure make me even more of a comical giant when I sit down to do filing and stapling.

Soul exposure time: Obviously during lunch period the other teachers interrogate me with get-to-know you questions and inevitably the first question is always "Are you married or single?." And then it's immediately followed with a "Why are you single?." It's happened with most jobs in the last few years and this one is no different.
It's a topic I've thought about a lot and I've always had different answers for the why. I suppose I've always been single and for different reasons. Sure, I've dated, had romances and lovers and trysts. But nothing long term and official. In times past my excuse has been a heightened self-awareness(my term for low self esteem from growing up a fat kid) coupled with being a late bloomer. Then it was that stupid crippling anxiety thing and general awkwardness, but I suppose alcohol sortof helped with that. Then it was really a problem trying to find a cool girl who didn't have a boyfriend. Which, because I'm such a nice guy, led to a lot of emotional cheating. I'm a douche. Then it was a proximity issue by living at home with rents. This was good and bad; it forced me to get out and try the craigslist dating scene and those of you who've heard the stories know the rediculousness, others might hear about it if you asked nicely in person with a beer or three in hand. Now it's because I have been and will be a transient for a decent while. While this trait seems to be initially endearing to some women, the whole traveling for really good reasons things, it doesn't lend well to the long term. And rightly so. It'll be a good 9 months before I could even start to date someone in a legit way and even then I'm thinking about taking a few years to teach English in Asia. Oh me. Yet at the same time, if a special lady said "hey, move here, let's make it work," I'd probably give it a shot. But I think the singleness will remain for a bit. Does it sadden me? A bit, from time to time. But at the same time I've kinda figured out my life thus far, so I'm at peace with it; especially when I have some form of an object of affection around, because I really like doing cute boyfriendy shit. I'm king of the subtle, meaningful, "yeah, i was listening" gift. Blah. Brain sponge has rung dry. Maybe this only made sense to me. The gist: hey questioner, way to make an always single person remember they're still single. Hah!